It is only a matter of days before I become a father. I have been
going to baby class with Melissa once a week where we learn
various things about, well, babies and birth.

One week we watched a very explicit video of a baby being born. I
always thought babies came from under a tree at the bottom of the
garden so I was shocked. The teacher asked me how I felt after
watching that;

‘Glad to be a man and not have to do that,’ I told her.

The parallels with ‘it’s like shitting out a whole watermelon’ do
not do it justice for me.

At various times we were asked to read out in front of the class
the print outs on the projector. Some of the young mothers-to-be
struggled with this as they could not read.